Chronicles: Meditative Restoration for Kids

Spiritual Development for Kids

It seems this generation of kids has it all now. Television stations, YouTube channels, stores, entire sections of department stores, businesses, clubs, sports leagues, and more abound to help us enhance the level of growth our children will achieve in a lifetime. Even some churches and other religious groups have curriculum and instruction on how to follow the tradition's edicts with kid gloves. And, while there are many support groups that help us learn parenting skills for helping our kids grow physically, emotionally, socially, and academically, we don't always receive standard guidance on how to help them grow spiritually. Don't get me wrong, there are many religious guides on teaching kids how to follow their family's religious tradition. Still, we don't have a handbook regarding helping our children look intrinsically to find their own peace, regardless of circumstances and relationships. For all of our outward attempts at helping our kids grow, this is one area in which we could improve. 

Recently there have been reports of schools including meditation at recess, or as a means of conflict resolution. Also, children are able to take yoga as an elective or have a mental rest period during the day to restore their minds to positivity. As American school days are long for kids, this is progress in the right direction, as long as it is in the hands of the student and their family to design this period of time, or approve what happens during this period of time. 

Still, these programs aren't exactly taking over schools everywhere. Besides, not many families want to outsource this practice to their public school. In personal experience, other ways to engage kids in spiritual reflection are few and far between. And yet certainly, spiritual development is inward and requires self awareness. All humans need to nurture this aspect of ourselves.

In fact, what if the mass shootings that keep breaking our hearts are about a deeper issue? As we pursue laws to stop the flow of guns and try to stem the horrific impact of so much violence and useless squandering of life, we are definitely missing one key element. The individual who would do this unimaginable act is severely sick. They have lost the ability to properly manage their mental and emotional resources. Regardless of what they say their purpose is, they have lost their sense of being a part of the human collective. Clearly, we must address the spiritual needs of our children and their ability to see themselves as part of a cumulative human conscience as a natural part of the growth process. This is not a nod to religion, or any particular practice thereof. Religion is outward demonstration of devotion to a belief or cause or entity. Spiritual development is the purposeful pursuit of understanding ourselves and our connection to the world in which we live. Everyone is responsible for this, no matter their belief system or even if they don't have one at all. Learning to calm and redirect one's thinking to a balanced center is essential for all of us. 

There are ways to help our kids develop this sense of self and greater good. One way is through conscious meditation.

How Can Children Meditate?

Yes, children can build a spiritual center and nurture their own emotional wellness. One strategy is teaching them meditative restoration. There are no centers or gurus to follow. It is a simple practice that is taught, like how to throw a baseball or write your name, or conquer the monkey bars. In fact, the blueprint is very flexible, as the main purpose is to quiet the mind, get calm, and reflect in a balanced way. 

Benefits of Meditation

• More restful sleep
• Decrease in impulsivity
• Calmer disposition
• Balanced decision making
• Mindfulness in tasks

When To Teach It

Every child is an individual. There is no magical unicorn giving out age guidance on this. Some children may be ready as early as 5 years old, while others may not have a full capacity to appreciate it until they're 10 or 12 years old. Parents must discern and decide what's best for their kids. Younger children who you believe will benefit from the practice now may ease into it by taking the steps one week or two at a time and adding the other steps and elements little by little. Remember, this should never be forced, as that is stressful in itself. The practice is intended to be fun and help kids feel better when it's complete.

Steps:

First: Find a space. Kids do know who they are and what they want early on. Have them designate a spot where they usually feel safe and calm. They can put all sorts of things in this spot. Favorite teddy bears, blankies, dolls, pillows, and other objects of comfort belong here. *This does not include devices, such as phones or tablets. (If this spot is in a common area of the house, give them a box for their favorite things so they can pack / unpack for sessions.)

Second: Teach them how to get quiet by making sure it's quiet. Turn off devices, including the TV and radio. This is not easy for kids. Technology, toys, friends, siblings all create head noise. Even if the entire house is silent, there could still be noise going on in their head. When teaching them to tune everything out, give them permission to forget about everything. Initially, this can be achieved by having them narrow their focus on one thing, such as the ocean or the sky or mountains. This is the beginning of them being able to cancel out everything else. Eventually they'll learn to create a blank space there.

Third: Once their minds are quiet and they're in a safe space, ask them to see their thoughts. Yes, you are asking your children to think about what they're thinking about - a practice called metacognition. This doesn't refer to that moment only, but what they've thought about a lot, or all day. Have them review the self talk they've been having with themselves throughout the day. They will begin to understand why they feel angry or happy or sad. That, in turn, will help them troubleshoot their own root causes and perhaps begin to find internal solutions for distressing situations. 

Fourth: Still quiet and safe, have children focus on being well in that moment. Have them rehearse in their mind how everything is fine right now. They are peaceful. Their needs are met. They are loved. They are whole.

Variation: For children who are older a fifth step is the future story. Have them create a positive future story and think of all of its possibilities. This produces a hopeful state of mind and a better overall disposition.

Once these steps have taken place, the meditation period is complete. Children have had a chance to think inwardly. Letting go of tablets and video games, TV shows, and screens for a while has given them an opportunity to reconnect with their inner self and grow in spiritual awareness. For best results, this is something that should become part of an every day routine. What you'll  notice over time is a decrease in impulsivity, better empathetic understanding, and being able to analyze in order to make better life decisions.

This takes a long time to develop. Don't get discouraged if they're not keen on it or don't catch on right away. Keep plugging away at it a little at a time. Once they've gotten the hang of it, it will become a practice they keep on their own, like playing video games or watching television. And, as always, you can join in too to see your own benefits.

What about you? How do you help your children develop their spirit?